The past 2 months have been the most difficult times I have ever gone through. These two months have been filled with sadness, disappointment and anger that make me want to scream this stress out of my lungs.
These questions are jumbled in my head:
Why me, God?
Why do You have to put me in this mess? Why do You have to make me experience this painful and awful condition??
I sit down and start to sing this song… “Lewat badai cobaan, semuanya mendatangkan kebaikan…”
Then, I read one verse in the Psalms. The book of Psalms is full of examples of God’s people pouring out their hearts to Him.
The verse is this:
In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord;
In the night my hand was stretched out without weariness;
My soul refused to be comforted (Psalm 77:1-2).
Pour out your heart to God and allow Him to encourage you (Psalm 62:8).
We should confess any frustration, anger, discouragement, or bitterness.
If we refuse to express our genuine feelings to Him, we won’t experience the full measure of His comfort.
I know and realize it very well that through all these mess, through all these sadness and disappointment You want to show me Your GREATEST LOVE for me and that You will always be with me and will give me the strength that I need and will uplift every burden that I carry, as long as I put my trust on You.
I know that in this life there will be ups and downs. There will be laughter and tears in this life, sometimes happy, other times hard. But every up and down we will learn things, many things that will make us strong. We just have to put our faith to THE ONE up there, The One that will help us to overcome this, He is THE ONE that will wipe away my tears and will relieve these heavy burdens that I carry from my shoulder and especially I know that HE will be the one that will cure this wounded heart of mine.
And no, this journal is not about romance nor about a man.